The tattoo artist used by San Francisco 49er's quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been swamped with requests for similar tattoos. 

So as a public service, check out the Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Your First Tattoo.


Do I want it in a place where everyone will see it, or just the people who watch me in amateur porn videos?

Am I sure I can stop at just one, or will I be trying to find a clean space on my forehead in a year?

Do I care that in 50 years it's just gonna look like I got my ass whooped in paintball?

If I'm going to risk getting hepatitis, wouldn't I rather do so with an experienced crack whore?

Who is responsible for my self-hatred, and can't I just make peace with them instead?

Do I really want to be the 31st guy at my gym with a barbed wire wrap-around?

In 10 years, will anyone even remember One Direction?

Is my tattoo artist practicing "proper sterilization" when he licks the needle and then wipes it on his shirt?

Wait a sec . . . is "Skynyrd" with two y's or two i's?

Will getting a Samoan tribal design on my arm make me dumb enough to believe my online girlfriend's for real, too?

Should I verify my online girlfriend exists before getting her name inked on my shoulder?

How quickly after getting a peace sign on my ankle will global violence end forever?

Will getting a tiny heart above my vagina FINALLY make my daddy regret not buying me that pony?

How badly do I want people to know that when it comes to making sound life decisions, I take my cues from Mike Tyson?

Will this tattoo guy understand the importance of spellcheck?

How much do I really like butterflies . . . and are my frat buddies gonna make fun of me?

How many inspirational quotes can I fit on my inner thigh?

If I just tattoo giant elephant ears on each thigh . . . will everyone get the joke?

Will my skin always be this pink and tight?  It will?  Then, yes!

Am I only doing this to have a person actually touch me?

Will my new tattoo get more Facebook "likes" than pics of my lunch?
 
Will it be like voting for Obama?  A good idea at the time that I deeply regret soon after?